I hated living at home when I was a kid.
I hated who I was, and I hated where my life was headed.
In my mind, when I finally moved out and got my own apartment, or when I moved to a different city, or when I visited London or Paris or Prague or wherever— When these things happened, that’s when everything would change.
I would become the person I’ve wanted to be for so long.
This new city would change me. I’d have this profound epiphany and everything would finally come together.
I would be happy.
I had this grand idea that when turned 18, I would finally move out. When I actually did turn 18— I still lived at home, but then I had this idea that I would be studying abroad in University. Only one year separated me from a life of international wonder and accomplishment.
That didn’t happen, either.
On top of that, when I eventually did move out— it was only about a year before I found myself back at home.My life regressed, and I hated every moment of it.
But even when I wasn’t living at home, I couldn’t help but think, I can’t wait until I move to [insert city I was obsessed with at the time here]! I’ll be able to do so much, and I’ll be active, and everything will be perfect. I just need to wait until I get there.
When I moved, everything would change. Everything would be better—I would be better.
This idea stuck with me for years— but it wasn’t until a few months ago that I finally had the epiphany I needed:
I was holding myself back.
I was holding myself back from achieving what I dreamt of achieving— from becoming who I’ve always wanted to be. All because I needed to be in this magical new place to do it.
A new apartment, a new city, a new whatever— It’s never going to live up to those expectations. If you expect a change in location to dramatically alter who you are right now, you’re going to be disappointed.
You are what you bring with you.
Regardless of location, if you’re not proactive about what you want to do, or who you want to be—if you rely on other things and other people to change you—that feeling of restlessness is never going to go away.
You will always be looking for that little speck of greener grass, hoping that it will change everything just by existing.
If you want to change, take responsibility for it. Put in the work. Look a little deeper at the cause of your boredom, unhappiness, or whatever it is that’s making you feel so restless and flighty.
I promise that it has nothing to do with your location, the fact that you’re still living at home, or whatever it is you think is holding you back.
You’re in charge of your own happiness.
No matter where you go, you take yourself with you.